Snake Bites Plastic Rack, Dies

Silicone filled Israeli fashion model Orit Fox was bitten on one of her mammoth synthetic breasts by a snake during a photo shoot for Spanish TV. The cartoonishly buxom Fox is fine but the snake died of silicone poisoning. “We’re very concerned about the safety of members of the vampirism/mammary fetish community”, said Shiela Hool of the American Medical Advisory Bund. “We’ve begun an exploratory committee to look into crafting legislation that would require women with silicone implants to warn their partners prior to any sexual or pseudo-sexual, arousal specific activity that may involve biting”. So, there you go. Verify authenticity before you dig in. If western society wasn’t too absurd to satirize already, I think the fact that our cultural narcissism has spawned killer tits will do the trick.